Eat The Darkness

Copyright © 2010 Matthew Ratajczak. All Rights Reserved

One of the things Jessica and I wanted to do when we learned we were moving to Pennsylvania was to join a local CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) group so we could enjoy fresh, seasonal, local produce throughout the year. We were lucky enough to have Buck Hill Farm recommended to us. Their mission statement is a reflection of what we believe in and what we were hoping to find when we got here.

Buck Hill Farm CSA is committed to land stewardship based on sustainable agriculture and to the distribution of the highest quality product. We produce wholesome fresh food through our farm, whose techniques reflect our commitment to protecting and improving the health of the land and the surronding community. Through the development of economic, educational, and cultural relationships, we strive to raise the social and ecological awareness of individuals regarding the production of their food.

So I’ve been picking up our weekly share on Saturday mornings for the past few weeks and I (yes, just me, Jessica has been working in New Orleans since April) have been enjoying the spring bounty grown by farmers Andrew Buckwalter and Coral Hotte. So far there’s been a decent variety from the beginning of the season. I’ve been enjoying salad greens, lettuce, garlic scapes, bok choy, radishes, strawberries, swiss chard, turnips, broccoli, peas, cabbage, and more.

Yesterday, after collecting my share and then picking a quart of sugar snap peas, I wandered around the farm for a while and made some photographs. If you’re in the position to do so, support a local farmer.

Copyright © 2010 Matthew Ratajczak. All Rights Reserved.

Copyright © 2010 Matthew Ratajczak. All Rights Reserved.

Copyright © 2009 Matthew Ratajczak/Scripps Newspapers. All Rights Reserved.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m still here. Just been busy with life. I’ve been doing a little work to Matthew Ratajczak Photography, adding some new portraits and a story about alligator egg hunting on Lake Okeechobee, shooting almost every day for my real job, doing some freelance, dealing with brush fires and the smokey stank that won’t leave my truck or clothes, not sleeping very well and thinking a lot about the upcoming move to PA for Jessica’s new job and what it all means in the grand scheme of things for me professionally and personally.

But enough about me. Tomorrow’s the big day (shit I guess it’s already tomorrow, didn’t realize it’s after 2:00 a.m.) for my dear friends John and Judyta. This incredible couple will be saying “I do,” we hope, and tying the knot at the beautiful Morikami Museum and Japanese Gardens in Delray Beach, Fla. Jessica and I couldn’t be happier for them. We wish them all the happiness and luck in the world as they begin this new chapter in their ever evolving story. We’re both looking forward to dressing up and sharing this special day with them. I still don’t understand what a beautiful, smart and lovely woman like Judyta sees in John, but what do I know. Just kidding buddy, I love you man!!

So for the few people that actually check this blog every now and then, sorry for the big gaps. There just seems to be chunks of time where I don’t have much to share or anything worth saying. I’ll get on it and try to be a better blogger.

Jessica and I were lucky to have one day of wintery bliss while visiting her family in Ohio last week. We didn’t have a white Christmas at her sister’s in Marietta, but we did have a couple days of snow while visiting her father earlier in the week along the lake near Painesville in northeastern Ohio. It was so great to get out of Florida and spend the holiday with family. Hopefully next year we will spend the week with my family in Michigan.

These are just some random photos from the couple days we spent with my future father-in-law, Joe Elliott, and no he’s not the singer with Def Leppard, at and around his home in the country. Yes, that is a bullet hole. Don’t worry, nobody was killed. It’s a long story and it didn’t happen while we were there.

One of the highlights of the trip was visiting several of the local wineries in the area, tasting and comparing a variety of the local wines (we were  happily buzzed, and sometimes pretty drunk, from about noon until late that night). I especially liked Grand River Cellars’ 2005 Cabernet Franc, their Merlot, a grape I normally don’t care for, their delicious ice wine (a sweet dessert wine produced from grapes frozen while still on the vine) and South River Vineyard’s ”Trinity,” a blend of Chambourcin, Cabernet Franc and Pinot Noir. I had no idea the region was such a big, ever-growing wine producer. Driving along the winding, snow-covered country roads of the Grand River Valley, frozen grape vines were everywhere, just waiting for the coming thaw. A real treat. Happy New Year!!!!

All Photographs Copyright © 2008 Matthew Ratajczak. All Rights Reserved.

I finally launched www.matthewratajczak.com! It’s still coming together and not perfect, but I really wanted to get it up. What’s up there now might not be what’s up there a week from now since I will still be refining and tweaking the content in the coming weeks. Thanks for looking!

It’s been a while since I’ve posted, and I want to apologize to all five of my loyal readers. Most of my free time has been spent trying to get my new website ready to go live. I’m close but not quite there. And then there is just life and all the consuming details of it. I promise to try and write more often and show some new work, but it might be a little while before I really get back into the groove.

In the meantime, to help satisfy your thirst, I’m happy to share that Alec Soth is back in the game. He is back blogging via Magnum. Check it out (here).

I also want to thank everyone who bought one of my photographs through my recent print sale here at Eat The Darkness. Your support is greatly appreciated and means a lot to me. The goal was, and still is, to help raise money so I can purchase some much needed camera equipment as I prepare to make the leap and go freelance. There’s more details in the original post. The sale is still active, so feel free to check it out and make a purchase. The holidays are getting closer, a photograph or two would make a lovely gift for your mom. I might even post a second round with some new photos.

I do have to say I was really surprised by the results of the print sale. The people I thought would jump all over it and help me out didn’t, and people I really didn’t expect to help, people I don’t talk to or see all the time, or people I haven’t seen or talked to in years, did! It was amazing. This is not a jab at those people who didn’t buy, believe me, I understand, kind of. I was just so pleasantly shocked by the people to who did buy a print, it’s not what I expected. Again, thank you so much. I’ve raised a nice little chunk of change. Far from my goal, but a good dent none the less. I don’t understand why more photographers don’t do this. There is so much amazing work out there that only lives on a website, a hard drive or a dusty DVD. Get it out there, make it available, share it, sell it, buy and sell art now!!!!

There are several photographers that I know, and many that I don’t, that if they made some of their photographs available for sale at affordable prices, I would definitely buy. Then again, many of them would probably not want to sell their work at a price most of us can afford. 

Anyway, thanks again for your patience, and thanks to all of you who supported me.

I need your help. I’m afraid there’s no other way to put it.

I’m going to be leaving my job as a newspaper staff photographer in the near future, moving on to begin my new life as an unemployed, I mean freelance, photographer. There are several reasons and/or circumstances, some out of my control, that are bringing about this change. I will go into all that in more detail at a later date. I will say I’m very excited about this new opportunity, and nervous as hell too! This is something that I’ve been wanting to do for a long time, but always found a reason not to do it. No more excuses, the time is right. 

To make this a reality though, I need stuff. Lots of stuff. Expensive stuff. It sucks, but it’s just the way it is. It will be a gradual process, but there are some things I just can’t do without. The basics. The essentials needed to get the job done.

Over the years I’ve been spoiled with company camera gear, a company laptop and everything else needed to do my job. There was never a need to go spend thousands of dollars on equipment that I didn’t really need. More importantly though, these years have been spent at a newspaper that barely payed a living wage, definitely not enough to afford or save for expensive cameras, lenses, computers, lights etc…

So I’m having a print sale/fundraiser to help me purchase much needed camera(s) and lenses!! I’ve selected 10 photographs that I hope you like. Some of the photographs are from my personal “Convergence” project, a series I’ve been working on for a while that shows the often overlooked or unnoticed details of where man and nature subtly intersect with each other. And some are just random moments with the natural world and my daily life.

Each photograph is available as an 8X10 ($40) or 11X14 ($75). If you want something bigger, let me know and I’ll make a special order. I’ve set up links below each photograph that will take you to a PayPal site so you can purchase using your credit/debit card or PayPal account. If I know you, and you’re good for it, you can pay me with a check or cash and just let me know which print(s) you would like. The photos will be printed on Kodak Endura lustre finish paper by White House Custom Colour in Minnesota.

If there is a photograph that isn’t included here, or maybe you have something more specific in mind, let me know, I might be able to accommodate you. However, many of the photos I’ve taken over the years don’t belong to me. The newspaper owns the copyright, so therefore I cannot sell them. Also, please note that the photograph itself is slightly smaller than 8X10 or 11X14. These are the sizes of the paper the images are printed on. On it’s longest side the photo will be either 9-inches or 13-inches. 

I know money is tight for almost everyone out there as the economy continues to tank. So I understand if you can’t help right now. But before you say “screw this guy, I can’t afford it,” consider that you can get an original photograph for cheap, less than what most people spend on coffee or lunch in a week. And if you go with the bigger print, It’s like you taking me out for dinner. I know it’s less than what a lot of you blow at the bar on a Saturday night and way less than a new pair of jeans or shoes! It’s a small investment to make in order to help out a friend. You’ll feel good about helping, AND you’ll get a nice print! Come on, I know you want to do something nice. And don’t hesitate to buy more than one. They would also make great gifts. 

Thank you so much. Take a look at the photographs below. Hope you enjoy and feel moved to make a purchase.  

8X10 ($40 unframed) 11X14 ($75 unframed)

CLICK ON THE PHOTOGRAPHS TO ENLARGE

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Thank you for your support! It means a lot to me.

All Photographs Copyright © 2008 Matthew Ratajczak. All Rights Reserved

It’s intriguing how a random encounter with something in passing can epitomize your current emotional and physical state of being.      

Copyright © 2008 Matthew Ratajczak. All Rights Reserved

I’m bracing for a wet and windy evening tonight and all day Tuesday as Tropical Storm Fay makes her way across south Florida. This kind of storm just annoys me. It’s not a bad-ass hurricane that will keep me busy shooting for a week or two with tons of overtime, earning crazy hurricane hazard pay from my employer. I was able to finance a two week trip to Italy in 2004 thanks to Hurricane’s Frances and Jeanne. (Let me clarify something though, I would never wish a hurricane or any sort of natural disaster on anyone so I can benefit financially or professionally. They truly are a pain in the ass and can obviously affect people’s lives in a very severe and devastating way). 

As of right now, late Monday afternoon, it looks like Fay is just going to be an obnoxious soaker, dumping tons of much needed rain, and producing 40 mph winds, max, for us on the east coast. So Tuesday morning I’ll be out on the streets at 7 a.m., thanks Kelly, looking for storm related photos, getting soaked and steaming in my rain gear since it will still probably be in the 80′s or 90′s. I LOVE Florida!!!

Copyright © 2008 Matthew Ratajczak All Rights Reserved

Copyright © 2008 Matthew Ratajczak All rights reserved.

I just finished reading an article written by freelance photographer and former New York Times staffer Vincent Laforet on the Sports Shooter site about the overall state of the photography business and its possible future. I came across the article by way of a comment and link on A Photo Editor post about the end of book publishing.

Laforet says the cloud is falling, but above it is plenty of blue sky. However, after reading through his lengthy essay all I can see right now and in the near future are gray skies. It left me feeling a bit numb and drained. I wanted to feel hopeful and take something positive away from it. But after one read through, it was hard not to feel depressed.

Most of us working photographers, whether we’re on staff at a newspaper or freelance, know that things are not good right now. We all know the economy sucks and the publishing/media industry is evolving into who knows what. All I hear about are shrinking newsroom staffs and shrinking news holes (space), declining readership and revenue, buyouts, layoffs etc… you get the picture.

Laforet’s article isn’t really saying anything I haven’t already read or thought about myself. What he’s done is condense it all into one grand, somewhat digestible statement.

I don’t really know what I’m trying to say with this post other than I think Laforet’s article is worth checking out, especially if you’re someone like me who is working for the man with a steady (but meager) paycheck and benefits, but is hoping to make the transition to independence as a freelance photographer someday. This article has left me more confused on what my next move should really be. I think there’s a silver lining in there somewhere, I just need to read through it a few more times.

Is it really this bleak?

Finally, my daily stop at Fivebucks, I mean Starbucks, has resulted in more than a caffeine buzz and a lighter wallet. A weird photograph is always a pleasant morning surprise. However, it really sucks that yet another steamy south Florida summer is upon us already and melting all the Crayola’s! There are definitely days when I feel like a melted crayon after working outside most of the day. 

Copyright (c) 2008 Matthew Ratajczak All Rights Reserved

Go find a jukebox and see what a quarter will do

I don’t wanna talk I just wanna go back to blue

Feed’s me when I’m hungry and quenches my thirst

Loves me when I’m lonely and thinks of me first

Blue is the color of night

When the red sun

Disappears from the sky

Raven feathers shiny and black

A touch of blue glistening down her back

We don’t talk about heaven and we don’t talk about hell

We come to depend on one another so damn well

So go to confession whatever gets you through

You can count your blessings I’ll just count on blue

Blue is the color of night

When the red sun

Disappears from the sky

Raven feathers shiny and black

A touch of blue glistening down her back

Blue

“Blue” by Lucinda Williams

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything. Just haven’t been inspired to write. Nothing to say, nothing to show. I haven’t been making a lot of photographs for myself lately. Since taking on the assignment desk duties at work, most of my time is spent in front of the computer, eyes too tired at the end of the day to look through a camera. Only a few more weeks though, with a short vacation to Michigan in between to break the monotony. 

You’d think I’d spend my weekends photographing, printing, researching, working on getting my freelance career going so I can leave this damn newspaper, doing SOMETHING PHOTO since I’m not doing a lot for myself during the week. Sometimes this happens. But sometimes there are other priorities. My time with Jessica is precious since we’re practically in passing during the week. I need my time with her even if it’s spent shopping, cleaning the house, watching a movie, cooking dinner, whatever. The time just dissipates so quickly.

I fear I’m slipping into a rut. Need to get out. Maybe it’s just another blue Monday.  

Copyright (c) 2008 Matthew Ratajczak All Rights Reserved

It’s been a while since I last posted anything. My brain feels like a bowl of mashed potatoes drenched in gravy. My body is not too far behind. A walking sack of potatoes going through the motions. Some days I feel like I’m just slowly disappearing into the background. I think my new position as an assignment editor is partly to blame. Hours stuck in the office, staring at a computer, dealing with people in the office, organizing other people’s schedules, managing everyone else’s life for eight hours a day, but not my own. Not really making photographs as much. Not moving. Luckily it’s temporary. But it’s so draining and mindless. I just need to get through it.

There is a up-side to it all though. I don’t have to go out and make photographs of things I no longer have any real interest in. It’s been a nice break, but I think the honeymoon is over. I need some fresh air, I think I’m suffocating.

I don’t meditate. I wish I could, but I just can’t seem to do it. Same with yoga. tried it once, it felt great, but it just doesn’t work for me. I think maybe I’m just lazy and unmotivated when it comes to those things. I did go on a hike Sunday afternoon in Halpatiokee Park. It was a beautiful day in south Florida. This is what clears my head, slows me down, calms me. I need to do it more often. I also brought my camera, which I don’t always do. I was able to make a handful of nature photographs I like.

A lot of people don’t know this about me, but I really enjoy doing this kind of work and I do a fair amount of it, but most people just don’t see it that often. I’m not really influenced by other nature/outdoor photographers when it comes to these types of photographs, but rather photographers like Gueorgui Pinkhassov and Hiroshi Watanabe (more on him and his new book in another post). Anyway, here’s a few from Sunday.

Copyright (c) 2008 Matthew Ratajczak All Rights Reserved

I was recently going through some boxes full of odds and ends I’ve carried around with me over the years. You know, that junk you don’t need, but just can’t seem to get rid of. Old magazines with photographs you thought were inspiring, rolls of mystery film, photos from a drunken Halloween party back in 1998, trinkets from various states and countries, film developing tanks you thought might make a good pen holder, etc… Every year, to the delight of my girlfriend who is always looking for more storage space for her clothes and shoes, I’m able to throw more and more away.

In doing this, I came across a real treasure. Actually a treasure map. Well, more of a diagram. And supposedly worth millions.

My memory is cloudy. But I’m sure there were several pitchers of beer involved as we sat in one of the booths at our favorite pizza/beer joint in Columbia, Mo. My professor/mentor/friend and I were having one of our many unofficial weeknight meetings where I could listen to a new joke, he has thousands, and we could talk freely for hours about photography, movies, music, art and life in general. Some of the best times ever. They were comical, insightful, educational and almost always inspirational. Below is what he left me with one night on the back of a beer coaster. A studio lighting diagram. I haven’t been able to toss it. Call me sentimental. Although this hops and barley induced wisdom hasn’t made me millions, to me it remains priceless. Thanks KK.

Here are some things you might want to know. Or maybe not.

I am originally from Grand Rapids, Michigan. I’ve always had a few drops of creativity in my blood. It’s been both a blessing and a curse. More of a blessing though. After a brief stint in music school following high school, I moved back home, played in some bands and eventually became interested in photography. After a few years in a small fine art photo program in Grand Rapids, I moved to Missouri and studied journalism and photoj at at the University of Missouri.

I graduated in 2000 and moved to sunny south Florida to begin my career as a photojournalist/newspaper photographer with the intention of only staying a couple years or so before moving on to a new job, in a new city and in a new state. I did move on, but stayed in Florida. Those plans never quite work out the way you envision them. I’m also at a crossroads professionally, figuring out what new path photography will take me down next. It’s a crazy mess in my head sometimes as I contemplate my next move.

Lucky for me I have Jessica, my amazing and beautiful girlfriend, and her two miniature pinchers (it was a package deal folks). I also have a wonderful family and an amazing group of friends near and far that support me, unfortunately not financially.

I’m also an editor for an online photography magazine called Blueeyes Magazine that was started by my friend John Loomis five years ago. That doesn’t support me financially either, but it does help support my mental health. It’s a joy to be a part of something so inspirational.

When I’m not putting in my 40-hours-a-week at the fourth estate, I like to spend a lot of time with Jessica, the dogs and our friends.

I listen to and buy a lot of different music, too much to list here, but do check out this band I’ve been listening to a lot. I love movies. I finally got around to watching Sicko this weekend. I know Moore gets a lot of criticism for being biased and one sided, and I agree he is sometimes. But holy shit man, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing and hearing.

I also love to cook, and eat. Although, this curry I made this weekend is KILLING me right now. It was yummilicious though.

I’m a photo book freak. Just wish I had more money to blow. I’m trying to make it a priority to work on more personal photography projects, this blog being an extension of that goal. With companies like Blurb and others, self-publishing is definitely in my future. You all should purchase Milwaukee based photographer Kevin Miyasaki’s new book(let) “38″ here.

I guess that’s it for now. If you visit the blog ever again, you’ll surely get to know more about me, my life and my photography. Thanks.

Here are a couple random photos I was working on today that are part of two different projects I’m putting together.

Copyright (c) 2008 Matthew Ratajczak All Rights Reserved

I’ve resisted this for so long. Why? Different reasons I suppose. I won’t bore you with the details. What’s important is that I’m finally doing this, carving out a new creative outlet for myself (with a little encouragement from friends. Thanks John, Alex and Romain). And that’s what this is really about, a personal outlet for me. But I hope others will come along for the ride now and again and find some interest in the thoughts I express and in the photographs I share, most of which have no home anywhere else at the moment and would go unseen if not for this blog. Here is one such photograph from the other day. Thanks for visiting.

Copyright (c) 2008 Matthew Ratajczak All Rights Reserved